Three local entrepreneurs unveil their twisted mini-mart.

The hulking Marc Brodzik has one work boot on a couch, the other foot teetering on a table - he's trying to fix a giant gap in the drop ceiling.

"No, no, no! Get down!" shouts his partner Larry McGearty. "You're too f-f... "

In the back room of G-mart, their new "convenience" store in Old City, McGearty and Brodzik are behaving like regular shopkeepers - bickering, placing orders and talking about positioning their merchandise.

"I want you to sign all this stuff," says McGearty, walking out into the front of the store and waving his hand at rows of yellow Golden Fluffy Foaming Liquid soap bottles ("Making Water Wetter") and lime-green cans of "Sugar Water" ("No Coloring, No Vitamins, No Fruit... Just Sugar and Water! Kids Love It!").

Making sport of convenience stores, commercial products and the stuffy Old City art galleries that surround it, G-mart is part retail outlet, part art installation. Amid glaring fluorescent lights and six, count 'em, six surveillance cameras (which don't actually work) is a bizarre variety of merchandise. From Brodzik's Golden Fluffy faux soup cans, relabeled with porno shots, to McGearty's line of tattoo-inspired T-shirts and clothing called Sailor Jerry, to Japanese candy, Kamel cigarettes, toy cell phones and pocket combs, you wonder what's for sale and what isn't.

"It's all for sale," smiles Brodzik, a modern-day Marlboro man in torn jeans and a wool hat that reads Pervert. There's some fairly disturbing merchandise in here as well - Brodzik's Shaved Corpses zine and Sailor Jerry's crude tattooed naked lady T-shirts. In the corner a TV airs Golden Fluffy ads featuring a woman on all fours, her mouth stuffed with an apple and a naked guy flying through streams of hotdogs.

"It got to you, right?" says McGearty, chain-smoking Kamels, his hair stylishly slicked.

"It's our comment on advertising. It's like a lewd Gap commercial. These people are really just pieces of meat," adds Brodzik.

Conceived by this macho menage et trois of Philly scenesters - the omnipresent pop artist Brodzik, kitschy clothing designer McGearty and Gyro advertising honcho Steven Grasse (who owns the company) - G-mart provides a showcase for these entrepreneurs.

McGearty, who works for Gyro, gets a storefront to sell his Sailor Jerry socks and "Stewed, Screwed and Tattooed" bowling shirts. Brodzik gets a gallery for Golden Fluffy, which, like Sailor Jerry, is co-owned by Grasse. And Grasse gets to promote Gyro's clients by selling rare Japanese Puma sneakers and exclusive Kamel cigarettes.

"The aim is to give artists like Brodzik a voice and a space," says Grasse. "He's the first of many artists who will be creating products."

Initially, the G-mart concept was slated for London, where Gyro is opening a branch office. They hoped to call the store Ugly American and sell beef jerky, cheap plastic toys and Golden Fluffy's outlandish products. "All the stuff that the Brits find repulsive and fascinating about Americans," says Grasse.

While those plans were (and are) still in the works, Grasse and McGearty decided to give their ugly American convenience store a dry run in Philly. Calling it G-mart (short for Gyro Mart), the idea was the same: "It would be a minimalist convenience store," says Brodzik. "American lifestyle is based on convenience," he says.

For his part, Grasse says he loves the idea that his ad agency has started its own store.

"It's absurd, isn't it?" asks Grasse. But Gyro hopes to become a well-known brand like many of their clients. He and McGearty have even created Sailor Jerry rum to debut in February at liquor stores nationwide. And they hope to perpetuate Golden Fluffy by starting restaurants, clothing stores and even a bar. Sounds a little pipe-dreamy at this stage, but Brodzik doesn't think so.

"Pretty soon we could have Golden Fluffys in malls everywhere," he says. Then, walking by his GF can of beans, he says boldly, "And someday, this is gonna be in the Guggenheim."

Philadelphia City Paper (link to site)

http://citypaper.net/

Categories:  Gmart, QCM